Song File: Everytime

Dear Kids,

I should be doing others things now but I feel like writing to you and just do whatever I need to do tomorrow. That is one thing your grandma hates about me - I love to cram! LOL

I find writing to you therapeutic even if I know that you are at this moment, still but a theory and a hope for me and your sweet dad. I guess it makes me feel that I have a purpose in life and I am imparting very important life lessons about life, dating and being carefree to you. I probably will be the Dragon Mom every Asian mom is but then I might turn out to be a cool mom too!

Anyhow, I can hope that despite me not being able to carry a tune, you would appreciate music and be able to enjoy it as much as I do. If I look back, there is always a song that best describes a time of my life.

This song, Everytime by Janet Jackson (who is she? Goggle will be a good source!), has always been special to me and evokes kilig and giddiness every time I hear it. Listen on :)

Sounds romantic, right? What more if that song started to play during your first school dance? You are on a date with J - a guy you have a huge crush on and he just asked you to dance - your very first proper slow dance.

AWWW...

I tentatively put my hands on J's shoulder and his arms go around my waist, pulling me closer that I end up encircling my hands around his neck. We slowly sway to the music and I look at him, nervous yet smiling, thanking the high heavens for this chance. He gave me a reassuring smile and told me how pretty I was that evening and made stupid yet funny jokes to crack me up.

I felt that I can die at that moment out of sheer happiness.  It was as if my short teenage life was complete.

I look back to that memory and still smile more than 15 years later and remind myself that life can be sweet and simple, we just have to enjoy the moments that life throws us.

xoxo

Love and Bitterness

Dear Kids,

One thing I want to be able to teach you in life is to live it fully, without any bitterness in your heart. Learn to give, love and be happy for those that are around you even if sometimes it doesn't mean that you are happy too. I can't say that I would be the best example now (thank goodness you kids aren't born yet!) but hopefully I am getting there.

A few weeks ago Mommy's first boyfriend got married. He was my first love and it was one of those you-and-me-against-the-world kind of love. A love that you look back on and cherish because it was young, pure and innocent.

Some people are bitter towards their ex-partners and I can't fault them and their reasons because I am like that too (hence the blog LOL). But then this specific person, B was something else. I remember saying that he will always have a special place in my heart and true enough, almost 15 years has passed and he still does.

I see his Facebook and can't help but smile that he is happy and finally together with the woman he will be spending the rest of his life with.

The essence of love doesn't mean that you have to be with someone but to be able to whole heartedly say that you are happy for them with or without you.

Sometimes when life turns sour and shitty, you will have these kinds of things to remind you that life isn't so bad at all and that you have to let go of any bitterness in you to be truly happy.

xoxo,

Blast from the Past

Dear Kids,

Before I go to the current conquest or heartache, I think it is due to give you a glimpse of where it all started back in 1991.. that makes me exactly a chinky eyed 8 year old living in one of the more famed streets of Manila because of the folklore of the white lady.

Anyhow, growing up as the youngest kid in the neighborhood, my playmates where 9 to 11 year old boys and a handful of girls my age. 8 years old might be too young you say but boy did I start young!

He was an 10 year old boy from the neighborhood and friends with the cooler and older boys. He was skinny, fair skinned and had this easy charm especially when he combs his hair with his hands while playing basketball.

I remember that time when I would blush to the highest heavens when I see him or peek through our window if he was out playing already. Everyone knew that he was my biggest crush and he hated me for it. You see, having a crush during that time was like a death sentence and girls weren't exactly that appealing to boys his age.

My giggles would always be for him and how I wish I'd grow up quickly so I can be his girlfriend that can cheer on him while playing basketball or ride with him is his mountain bike. I also wanted boobies and be tall to get his attention but I guess that came later on though not exactly as how I wished for it.

This crush went on for YEARS and I was teased mercilessly growing up until he started getting zits and growing an awkward mustache that didn't quite make the cute of being a legit one. So I moved on and diverted my attention to Nick, a tall blonde haired, blue eyed cutie from a band called Backstreet Boys. More on that next time :)

So I grew up and he did too and I realized all I knew about him was he was a cute boy from my neighborhood named Jeremy. My first mini heartache but it brings back funny memories as to when it all started.

xx

First Time

They say the first time is always the hardest and most painful experience and I must agree. Scrutinizing everything to make it perfect, making sure that it's memorable and throws you off your feet.

So this is my first - my first post, dummy. Though it can be likened to your first time, whichever that is and sex can be one of them but that's not what I'm talking about. Moving on..

This blog is the personal online diary of a late 20's girl in the search for Mr. Right. Many firsts will be shared and hopefully seconds, thirds, and fourths as well. Chronicling my dating life for the amusement of my future kids (hello kids!) and just spewing out thoughts on the dating scene as we usher in the new decade.

To my future kids, let this be a lesson that mommy did have a some ups and downs before meeting your daddy dearest and the first time you read about it might shock you but be patient and let the story unfold as mommy takes on the wheel and clumsily steers it to daddy's arms.

But for now, it will be a lot of funny and horrible stories about the men that I have met, about to meet and the roller coaster ride it will take.

Ciao!