Song File: Everytime

Dear Kids,

I should be doing others things now but I feel like writing to you and just do whatever I need to do tomorrow. That is one thing your grandma hates about me - I love to cram! LOL

I find writing to you therapeutic even if I know that you are at this moment, still but a theory and a hope for me and your sweet dad. I guess it makes me feel that I have a purpose in life and I am imparting very important life lessons about life, dating and being carefree to you. I probably will be the Dragon Mom every Asian mom is but then I might turn out to be a cool mom too!

Anyhow, I can hope that despite me not being able to carry a tune, you would appreciate music and be able to enjoy it as much as I do. If I look back, there is always a song that best describes a time of my life.

This song, Everytime by Janet Jackson (who is she? Goggle will be a good source!), has always been special to me and evokes kilig and giddiness every time I hear it. Listen on :)

Sounds romantic, right? What more if that song started to play during your first school dance? You are on a date with J - a guy you have a huge crush on and he just asked you to dance - your very first proper slow dance.

AWWW...

I tentatively put my hands on J's shoulder and his arms go around my waist, pulling me closer that I end up encircling my hands around his neck. We slowly sway to the music and I look at him, nervous yet smiling, thanking the high heavens for this chance. He gave me a reassuring smile and told me how pretty I was that evening and made stupid yet funny jokes to crack me up.

I felt that I can die at that moment out of sheer happiness.  It was as if my short teenage life was complete.

I look back to that memory and still smile more than 15 years later and remind myself that life can be sweet and simple, we just have to enjoy the moments that life throws us.

xoxo

The Greek Files

Dear Kids,

One day I hope to be able to take you to the Greek Isles and enjoy and have a relaxing summer break there. I have fond memories of the island specifically in Mykonos and Santorini. And knowing how your Mommy is, I have not one but two adventures to share!

I
We had a hot tour guide when we were in Santorini. Think a of young, buff, tanned Greek version of Tom Cruise. Always in his aviators and leather jacket. Yes, he was crushable but I wasn't really interested at that time. So I was on my picture taking spree not realizing that he was taking notice of me.

One time during dinner, he was teasing me and being dense, I was like "What is wrong with you?". Until one of our tourmates told me that he has a big crush on me. He was starting to talk to me more and more each day and would even photobomb some of our pictures. He'd also bring out his camera and take pictures with me in it LOL Haba ng hair moment!

After dropping the lot at the hotel, tour guides would usually go on their ways but he would usually stay around hoping to talk to me and spend a few more minutes or hours talking or having a drink at the bar. I told him I was seeing someone back home and said that he understood and just wanted to be friends.

On our flight back to Athens, he gave me a big hug and told me that he would miss me. He handed me a piece of paper where his contact details were scribbled.

We're Facebook friends until now :)

D
We were in Mykonos and our bus driver had a very cute son, D. His was tagging along with his dad for the duration of the tour. Everyone was gushing about him since he was very cute - think blonde hair, blue eyes, cute smile. He didn't speak much English though so communicating with him was hard! But eyes on the prize, you're mommy dear was dead set on getting to know this cute guy.

It started with shy hi and hello's to sharing snacks with him to asking his name and age to see how much English he spoke. It wasn't much but it was enough for us to communicate and start spending lots of time together. From where he was seated at the back, he then moved closer to where I was so we can play games during the long drives. I was the envy of the whole bus because I became such friends with this cutie that we were spending all our free time together.

On our last day, I had my picture taken with D as a remembrance -

Did I forget to mention he was 7 years old? LOL

Of Poems and Cassette Tapes

Just Friends

Lang Leav

I know that I don't own you,

and perhaps I never will,

so my anger when you're with her,

I have no right to feel

I know that you don't owe me,

and I shouldn't ask for more;

I shouldn't feel so let down,

all the times when you don't call.

What I feel - I shouldn't show you,

so when you're around I won't;

I know I've no right to feel it -

but it doesn't mean I don't

DKs,

When you start reading this, you would probably be the same age as I was when I experienced this story I am about to tell you guys. The poem above is a bit emo but then it brought me back to the memories when I was but a blossoming pre-teen who first discovered boys and how they can make your world go round and round.

Let's call him W and I was a shy and doe eyed 6th grader from an all girls Catholic school who sees boys as some alien creature from across the road. Or more aptly, across the street as our schools were in between a Church which was used as a meeting point of adventurous boys and giggly girls.

Anyhow, Mommy dearest had a tutor at that time and there she met W. He was a year older than her, articulate, smart, and maangas. Despite all of this and him having a bad boy reputation at our tutor, he singled me out and befriended me. What started with side comments here and there became a short chat before starting tutor to staying for another 30 minutes to talk before I went home.

Inexperienced I was, I craved the attention that this boy is giving me. I loved it when he said hi or came over to my table and sit with me. I eagerly wait for him to start talking with me for I know it will be a few minutes of kilig with this older boy who wrote poems and essays for a hobby. Months rolled by and our friendship grew, I became more confident in talking to him and was pretty happy that I had a friend who seemed all so grown up.

One day, he casually asked if he could ask for my telephone number. You know, to continue chatting during the weekends and during summer since school was about to end. My heart fluttered and skipped a beat. A boy will be calling me! This was the time when there were no pagers, no cellphones, no emails, no Facebook. The telephone is the ultimate tool to connect with the people you liked. I was in seventh heaven and was eagerly waiting for his call everyday and even asking my nanny if someone called for me when I was out during the day.

He usually called me on Saturday afternoons and almost every other day during the summer. We'd chat for hours and hours which infuriated my mother and nanny because I was hogging the phone and we didn't even call waiting then. We talked about school stuff, mundane things, poetry and music. I thought I was in love with this boy who even wrote me a poem about friendship which was scribbled on a blank sheet of paper in his scrawny script.

When school started the following year, we were talking about 80's music and how the songs were more meaningful and true. One day, he appeared out of nowhere and handed me a cassette tape which he personally recorded for me filled with 80's love songs. He carefully listed all the songs on the sleeve of the cassette and sheepishly said that he had to add the song Zombie by The Cranberries just because. Oh my oh my, was Mommy so giddy with this little gift and made me want to gush every time I saw him. I listened to the tape everyday, again and again trying to decipher if he wanted to convey something through the songs he chose.

But alas, young love was not for me as one day he told me he liked someone and wanted me to help him send her letters and gifts. What crushed my heart more was that this girl he fancied was a friend of mine! I was in tears as I hurried back to my room and tore the piece of paper where he had written the poem for me. I played the cassette tape one last time and threw it in the trash can. My little heart was broken into tiny pieces and I vowed never to talk to him again and started to avoid him and his calls.

So my young loves, be careful of boys who write you poems and make you listen to sappy music, they just want to be friends and you will end up heartbroken like your Mommy dear. LOL

P.S. Mommy just stalked him in Facebook (yes, we are friends there!) and I saw that he now has a baby with his girlfriend. And that girl he fancied? She's now married too :)

xoxo

Stalker Tendencies

I'm on a roll..

DK,

Don't freak out on me here, ok? Just hear me out.. I know I have stalker-ish tendencies especially if I want to find something out. The advent of Google has made things easier and more accessible. You type a few names and phrases and you get directed to exactly what you were looking for. Whoohoo! Instant access of information and random shizz about anyone.

You see, Mommy used to spend way too much time in the local gym.. Had a personal trainer, attended classes, did boxing. Not that I had a smoking hot bikini body but I did lose some unwanted pounds and got rid of my siopao face.

So I remember one evening while I was sweating it out and looking like a messy pig that someone caught my eye. I immediately told my personal trainer that a cutie just walked by - he was tall, toned, fair skin and had an absolutely cute baby face. To top that off, he has this I-don't-care vibe going on which totally turned me on. You see, girls like me like maangas looking guys, there's something so appealing about bad boys. M is my maangas mystery man.

I'd see M lots in the coming months but knew he had a pretty girlfriend who was petite and not sweaty and piggy like me. Fat chance at that now, right? I was like an awkward teenager who was giggly when I see him but can't even look his way since I'd get all red.

I knew his name since him and his buddies are pretty loud at the gym and his basketball jersey gave off his surname.. then came one day where I was bored and had nothing to do, day dreaming of his toned arms and shy smile that I decided to consult Mr. Google. It was pretty easy to find his Facebook but one page lead me to another and another and I was looking into his personal Multiply page (I know you've stumbled upon this post when you ask me about Multiply). He had his contact information posted there as he was selling some protein shake and stuff. Bingo!

My hands were shaking, finger itching and I grabbed my phone to quickly dialled his number. I just wanted to hear his voice, see if it's as sexy as I imagined it to be. I hesitated and cancelled the call. I was thinking what the hell was wrong with me? But fuck it, threw caution in the wind and hastily clicked redialled and soon it was ringing.

A guy with a throaty voice picked up the phone. I didn't know what to say.. I wanted to drop the call but he now has my number registered and that would be too rude. I asked M a few questions about his merchandise and was pretty accommodating in answering my questions. He even offered to meet up to show me and discuss with me what my options are. Naturally, I told him that I would think about it and really had no intention to do so LOL. When I was ending the call, he asked for my name and I almost said my real name to him only to change it to the last minute.

It was a few seconds of heaven for me. At least I got to talk to him and get kilig all over. Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do ;p

Lame Mommy-o,

Blast from the Past

Dear Kids,

Before I go to the current conquest or heartache, I think it is due to give you a glimpse of where it all started back in 1991.. that makes me exactly a chinky eyed 8 year old living in one of the more famed streets of Manila because of the folklore of the white lady.

Anyhow, growing up as the youngest kid in the neighborhood, my playmates where 9 to 11 year old boys and a handful of girls my age. 8 years old might be too young you say but boy did I start young!

He was an 10 year old boy from the neighborhood and friends with the cooler and older boys. He was skinny, fair skinned and had this easy charm especially when he combs his hair with his hands while playing basketball.

I remember that time when I would blush to the highest heavens when I see him or peek through our window if he was out playing already. Everyone knew that he was my biggest crush and he hated me for it. You see, having a crush during that time was like a death sentence and girls weren't exactly that appealing to boys his age.

My giggles would always be for him and how I wish I'd grow up quickly so I can be his girlfriend that can cheer on him while playing basketball or ride with him is his mountain bike. I also wanted boobies and be tall to get his attention but I guess that came later on though not exactly as how I wished for it.

This crush went on for YEARS and I was teased mercilessly growing up until he started getting zits and growing an awkward mustache that didn't quite make the cute of being a legit one. So I moved on and diverted my attention to Nick, a tall blonde haired, blue eyed cutie from a band called Backstreet Boys. More on that next time :)

So I grew up and he did too and I realized all I knew about him was he was a cute boy from my neighborhood named Jeremy. My first mini heartache but it brings back funny memories as to when it all started.

xx