Mr. Zit Face

Dear Kids,

Mommy is suffering from a major jet lag today having downed 2 pseudo sleeping pills last night and still can't sleep. So.. I am at work and slacking off and thought of amusing you guys with another story of my boy crazy young life LOL

I've been wanting to tell you about this funny story about a guy that I met. Due to my brain being sluggish today, I had to sit down and think hard on what his name was. I can picture him in my mind and will never forget how he looks like. I had to stalk a few people on Facebook to look for him because it was bugging me that my memory is failing me at such a young age.

Anyhow, let's call him G and I met him and a bunch of like-minded individuals with a similar background from an online forum that I used to go to. We're pretty much a minority so we bonded easily because of common friends, background and culture. It was pretty fun meeting people and knowing that they know someone that you know but still relatively a stranger to you. The online friendship would naturally run it's course and it was time to meet up face to face.

So it was set. 4 of us, 2 guys and 2 girls were set to meet for the first time one Friday night after work. I knew that the other girl K, fancied the other guy called K. I was there to meet new friends and was on a dating spree already so I never really thought of pairing it up with G.

I first met up with G since we were both early and my first reaction was man, this guy looks like 10 years older than me! And he was just about 5 years my senior if I remember it right. We settled into a cafe and started talking while waiting for the other two. By the time the other two arrived, I knew G was interested in me but I totally wasn't.

Night went well, a lot of stories and trying to figure out how many degrees of separation we all had between us. I was going to take a cab home but he was insisting to drive me home since my place was on the way home for him. I resisted nicely, smiling and said that it was alright and it would be traffic on a Friday night. He persisted saying that it would be his pleasure to drive me home. Now now kids, Mommy sometimes has to be practical and it was a Friday night so I relented and I let him drive me home.

The traffic was HELL and he was taking his sweet time to drive me home and trying to extend the conversation in the car. He was leaning close to me and I can see his face clearly and it was like this -

He was trying to tell me as bluntly and casually as he could that he like me and wanted to see me more. I didn't want to turn him down in his car during a heavy traffic so I neither said yes or know and just said that let's see since I am very busy but would want to remain friends and keep in touch.

But in all honesty, all I wanted to do was to prick those tiny puss filled zits all over his face one by one. I have to stop myself and concentrate not to give in to temptation. I felt so bad dear kids because Mommy did suffer from acne growing up but I just can't help it! LOL

Needless to say, I didn't see him again after that for the fear that I might traumatize him and start picking on his zits.

HAHAHAHA

Eeek.. Skidmarks!

My DKs,

Mommy can't help laughing remembering a certain incident that happened a couple of years back. Although I must warn you that you have to be old enough to read this and be ready for the graphic horrid details of my unfortunate but hilarious encounter.

So I was dating this guy, P for sometime and things were getting hot and heavy. I wasn't so into him but just gave him a chance because he has been courting (yes, it was still a norm then! mwahaha) for close to 7 years and your grand mama loved him for being such an under the saya.

Everytime people asked me if he was cute or hot, I'd always say that he's nice. Yes, just nice. Nothing more, nothing less. Mommy doesn't want to be bad but come on, he looked like a sumo wrestler. Eats like a sumo wrestler and belches like a sumo wrestler. Get the picture?

Anyhow, we were about to get it on.. articles of clothing were falling on the floor, the room getting a bit tad warmer.. and then I see his sumo wrestler glory in just a pair of tighty whities.. right, ok. Gulp. No backing out now I guess.

That tiny piece of cloth soon fell down in his ankles. BIG GULP. Instead of me zooming into his tiny weeny little friend, I actually looked down at the poor tighty whities and noticed something.. Something brown, something long, something like a smear on those pristine white briefs. Then it hit me - SKIDMARKS!

Ugh.

What little appetite I had soon diminished and I don;t even know why the heck I ask him but I did - "Why is it there?" and to that he replied "I didn't realized that I didn't clean it off eniterly".

Yuck. Gross. Pathetic.

P for POOP.

Hahaha :)

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe

Well enough about the past Dear Kids.

They say the best way to forget about someone is to have someone new. So after mopping and getting wasted, Mommy decided that it's best to enjoy single life and start dating again. I'm what they call a serial monogamist - always in a relationship and won't be single for a long time.

My oh my and what a ride it was! This is a secret between you and me and whoever is reading this that I've was shocked to see how extreme the dating world is after being in a relationship for a long time.


Let's get the ball rolling -

I
I thought he was a catch. Good educational background, financially stable family plus he's cute. Such a sucker for chinitos that when he asked me out, I gamely said yes even if he took time to actually materializing the date. It was bright and sunny Sunday and he was supposed to pick me up 1pm. Being the typical Virgo, I was ready by 12:45pm and was excitedly waiting for him. 1:00pm.. 1:30pm.. 2:00pm.. Still no date, said he will be late. 2:30pm.. 3:00pm.. 3:15pm.. finally he arrives. Damn, he's later than a typical girl! I was thisclose in canceling the date. 2 freaking hours late!

So we went to this mall in Makati and watched a movie. I wanted this action packed movie but he wanted to watch a soppy romantic movie. He wanted to make the date memorable by watching a Nicholas Sparks movie that bored me to death.

But kids, that's just the tip of the ice berg.

After the movie, he apparently has set up a dinner with his parents. Yes, his mom and dad. Meet the parents on a first date. OMG. I felt like I was being screened if I was a potential wife for their son. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Me screening him if he's a potential boyfriend and later on your grand mama screening if he's a potential husband?

Nevertheless, I charmed his parents and later on his mom was calling me on my phone. But I wasn't charmed to say the least.

F
This dude was an old officemate, a yosi buddy (yes, Mommy had a dark side and no, you shouldn't be following my footsteps) when I was depressed and heartbroken. He wasn't my type at all - he's mahangin, short, dark, thick full lips, with a big beer belly and well mayabang. But he's cool and the only person I can relate much with in that god awful company.

After a mass resignation of people in my department, we went out for drinks to celebrate our freedom and to do more office chit chat. And well, Mommy isn't a hard drinker so I was tipsy after a few bottles and my world was spinning by the time he was taking me home.

I guess you know what happened next? Ok, fine.. I'll spill the beans - he kissed me! At first I was like, hmm what's happening? And when his hands starting to explore the nether regions of my body, I suddenly sobered up and got the shock of my life that he was groping me! Damn, that was a good wake up call and he even dare said that he thought we had a "thing".

My god, he's really mayabang. Did I say mahangin as well?

T
I was very optimistic about this date, my dear kids. We briefly dated back in college and got along real fine although it was a bad timing for the both of us. We reconnected recently and he's now a hot shot lawyer from a popular firm and I was in a managerial position in the marketing field.

I guess you must know how Mommy has a thing for being on time. A case made him stay up late the previous night so I was a little lenient with him being an hour late. Still, an hour!

Anyway, we had breakfast and caught up with our lives but I can;t get over the fact that his teeth are discolored from too much smoking and he was wearing a tight fit shirt but to say it nicely, he was like a teddy bear. But but but he was still the same sarcastic, fun guy I used to know.

What made it a disaster was he kept on talking about his ex. On and on.. in the car, while ordering, while eating, while he was smoking, on the way home. Non stop.

And I was thinking that this is not going to be fun. Non stop.


... to be continued.